Why are pheasants so stupid?

I'm on my first walk with Sonny on uncharted territory. Apparently it's good to take him out where he doesn't know as it means he may look to me more for direction. He's already 'up there' because, unusually, he's out with me alone and his favourite pal Holly has not come along. Something is not right. But we persevere and I do the stop, start and change direction. We do 'quick, quick' and 'slow', which he seems to have learnt very quickly and teaches him to change pace on command.

I am under strict instructions not to react to other dogs in any way, because otherwise Sonny will think it's a problem, this is going to be a challenge because it's so ingrained, in me that is.

All is well, its a busyish country road but we are managing it. I decided to avoid the footpath as 2 jack russells have gone up there and I don't want to invite trouble. I'm not feeling that brave yet. We start to run along, he is enjoying himself and looking more relaxed. Then the pheasant appears.

What is it with pheasants? I had never really encountered many before I arrived in the country but, I now realise, they really are the most stupid birds. They wait until they are within inches of your front bumper before making a mad dash across the road in front of you. If not they pretend to jump out in front of you only to decide otherwise and go back in the hedge, either way it's too late and you've already swerved, trying to avoid a bloodbath and probably a cracked windscreen.

Sonny is an ordinary boy, see a pheasant, it's prey, you chase it. Unfortunately at the point he decides this we are in full flow and I am pulled over onto the tarmac with a smack! Various grazed knees and ripped jeans later my pack leader status again rather shakey, we go home.

Better news however when stepson's girlfriend visits at the weekend. I am thrown off balance. We haven't practised the visitor ritual yet and I am on high alert, I hate it when he intimidates people, even with a muzzle on.

However, we follow the routine, the visitor arrives and they take him round the block for a walk. Then everyone comes back in together. Amazingly he lies down on his side, I resolutely don't touch him as I have been apt to do in the past. I praise him 'good boy lie down', a slight tail wag. Wow, Sonny is lying down relaxed with a visitor in the room, it is possible then!