The thing about dog trainers....

At this point we have discovered The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan, and I have watched all the programmes on Sky 3 at least 2 or 3 times. I still to this day believe in what he does, though I know a lot of people don't like his methods. I can report however that the 'Chusht' noise is highly effective with our dogs, although the possibility of jolting Sonny out of his behaviour with any of his suggested little 'nudges' whilst on a walk meet with total failure. My fantasy is that a large brick could fall on Sonny when he is agitated and he simply would not notice it.

What now?,

I discover a note at the vets about a socialisation group that deals with dogs with aggression problems. It's a drive away but again by now we're really desperate and feeling our lives are being severely curtailed by our much loved, but impossible pet.

The group meets in a field and we are invited for an assessment to check what needs to be done. The assessment is watched by other people; trainers and punters, as Sonny is let off lead in an enclosed area where they let in. Yes! Joy of joys his favourite thing folks, 3 german shepherds all off lead. Already I am shaking (partly due to the audience) but mostly because this is the situation I have avoided for so long. Sonny does his thing, albeit on a long lead, the strongest male GSD apparently fights back but... doesn't dominate him. The trainer says that ,if she had longer she'd get him to submit, (excuse me, but haven't I paid £60 for this?). Anyway glossing over this minor detail, the good news is that we are told that the group can help Sonny and he is free to join.

We are allocated two trainers to help us, we are told to walk him up and down. Finally he is amongst other dogs having to 'sit', 'stay' and 'lie down'. This is unheard of and as we attend over the next few weeks our confidence as owners definitely begins to improve, but not unfortunately his behaviour!

I find out that the group are training people in their methods and if I would like to pay a reasonable sum and do some written work, I can join too. My view by now is that I have done so much reading and research and spent so much money that I might as well become a dog trainer myself right? Even if I can't help my own dog yet, maybe I can help other people's?

Now, my idea of a training course is that you all get together in a classroom situation and are given some of the basics before being let loose on a load of problem dogs, right? WRONG again. Apparently this course is from the 'throw them in the deep end' school of teaching.

The first week I shadow one of the other trainers who sounds like she knows what she is talking about. She appears to be very good at reading dog body language and I soon begin to feel deskilled as I realise that there is much more to this than we trainees are apparently being 'taught'.

The thing about the dog trainers, was that they weren't that good with people. They were a rather aloof bunch and I began to notice a sort of 'uniform' appearing of polo shirts and hats. These trainers also brought their own dogs to group, sometimes to be used in the exercises as' stooge dog's. Worryingly, these people did not always seem to be able to keep their own dogs under control eg dogs were walking in front of them (a big no, no). One was completely hyperactive and I began to wonder about the issue of 'practising what you preach'. And these people are supposed to be teaching me? Mmmmm....

The methods included shouting a command at strange dogs that had come in my direction to 'send them away', the thought of bellowing at someone else's dog when out on a walk did not seem destined to endear us to our fellow dog walkers, nor, designed to make Sonny any doggy friends. I also realised a perhaps curious fact that in the world of these dog trainers I was simply too small chested to have any credibility with the general public!!!

Now it's my turn to be sent off to 'help' the paying punters. OK, they've paid good money to be helped with their problem dogs and they get me....does this seem right? I'm nervous. My dog is on the other side of the field with my partner, busy marching up and down (and looking very worried that he's lost his mistress). 'Hallo, yes I'm here to help you, yes of course we can sort this problem out, I can get your dog to listen to me (yeah right!)'. Confidence as a trainee trainer not high then? Success with stranger dogs therefore not fantastic and the already fragile confidence of Sonny's owner ie me the 'would be pack leader' diminishing by the day....

I try to talk to the course organisers about this, suggesting things that might help...they don't really seem to listen as nothing much changes and I find other trainees are quietly sharing my confusion about a lot of things...and then the leaders tell me that they 'really don't think that Sonny will ever get any better.' So it's decision time, do I get breast implants, don a swanky hat, adopt a masculine tone like Margaret Thatcher and get real comfortable with shouting at other people's dogs?????

I think it's time to leave.....