We've moved

We moved to the country. Oh joy, finally I can live somewhere that Sonny will be safe, it's a relatively unpopulated area, vast fields of green, finally he can have some quality of life and space and along with him, we can too.

But prior to the move the worst has happened, Sonny has finally bitten someone. It happened at home, my much loved cousin, over from the USA had been in the house a couple of hours, we'd had dinner. He had even stroked the dog, he's used to them as he keeps dogs himself.

I'm sitting in the lounge with Sonny at my feet. Am I touching him or not, I don't know. My partner and my cousin enter the room. In a second he's up (having been lying on his side) and has launched himself across the room, grazing my cousin's arm. Fortunately he is OK, just surprised. I am devastated, after 8 years the thing I've most been dreading, ever since this problem started, has finally happened and the worst of it is, I didn't see it coming.

To be honest I think the fact that Sonny had never bitten before was a matter of pure luck. It was simply that we as his owners had protected him from the worst excesses of his behaviour. I saw myself as his guardian angel. He was a problem dog in an unpredictable world, who had an antisocial personality, the only thing I could do was to make sure he didn't do anything terrible. Otherwise it would be police on my doorstep and having to have him put down which would be devastating.

So anyway I digress. We've moved to the country. We dream of long country walks and Sonny begins to get on with a family dog and we risk letting him off lead in remote places. He absolutely loves it and dashes about like a mad thing, jumping in all the ditches and hedgerows.

We have a few hiccups, the people across the way have an old dog who is very sober, but always off lead. Sonny is having none of it and within a few days of our arrival, everyone nearby is aware that our dog is not the friendliest. Fantastic, we think. This is going to enhance our liklihood of making new friends all the more difficult.

Then there is the time that my elderly aunt was left with Sonny and Holly for a few short minutes whilst my partner took bottles to the bottle bank. She doesn't feel scared because she doesn't really know what Sonny can be like, so this time we can't say that it's our nerves that creates what happens next. If only that young lad had not chosen that moment to run by. The family return with solemn faces and I am told that Sonny has again launched himself at this boy and bitten him through his pocket. The boy is shaken but not badly hurt, the mother is very angry (understandably) and remonstrates with my partner, fortunately the police are not mentioned.

In the brave new world of village life, we are now faced with one prospect only - he's got to be muzzled.....

So where are we now, we've moved to the country with lots of open space, doggy heaven! We have a dog that we can't a) trust with people or, b)trust with other dogs and who, in order to keep controlled, has to be on lead and muzzled at all times. Is this really fair to our poor dog, should we be thinking about the ultimate solution, have we both just right now, as much as we adore him, had enough of what has effectively become a life sentence which none of us are enjoying. After all he is 10 years old.....

We talk about it, I cry, I imagine life without Sonny. I am just so attached to that dog, life would just not be the same. How would it be for Holly, she might pine. We are at work all day so it wouldn't be fair to get another dog yet anyway....

It's no good, I can't face it. We've got to keep going, he's part of our family.

And then there's the day we went to the seaside, a moment of distraction in a public place, he's muzzled and on lead but lunges at a child who is innocently walking in his direction. My partner's attention momentarily distracted by a conversation with family. The child cries, the parent angry but not fortunately litigious, our family embarrassed and shocked.

Once again I am devastated, more so because I work with kids who sometimes have phobias and I don't want to be responsible for a child developing a dog phobia because of my dog. Something has to be done about this dog!!!

We discuss euthanasia again, again I am devastated at the prospect but we agree to contact the local vet to get her views. Maybe there is medication we can try, we haven't done that yet. A child in the waiting room with special needs is curious about Sonny and walks towards him in the waiting room. I warn him not to come closer, he doesn't like children. The boy doesn't seem to take in what I say and continues to approach, his father stops him. Children are so unpredictable even with care an accident can so easily happen. Fortunately in this case the situation is contained.

I cry in the vets as I talk about the incident with the child, I am in fear that she will say he has to be put down and that we will go home without him. My partner is more optimistic. The vet is honest, behaviour is not really her thing, but there is someone who the practice works with, suggests we give her a call. Yet another trainer, have I really got the energy to do this, haven't I given all that I have for this dog already to no avail....