Well, it's been an interesting week. Last weekend unusually we had some visitors which was as you know quite unusual. Because we were going to be busy with them we elected to put the dogs in the garage for the duration of the party. It felt much safer as we were going to be preoccupied and with more than one guest it would have been a lot harder to keep an eye on the boy to ensure he was not being his intimidating self. Muzzle notwithstanding it is a lot to ask of a guest to 'not show fear' when they have a dog bearing down on them with a volley of scarey barking.
So... taking the advice of our trainer we put the dogs in the garage with kongs filled with luxury cashew and peanut butter(OK she said peanut butter but it's near enough). Thanks very much! The party ensues. Later the empty kongs tell us that the dogs have enjoyed the coveted snack. However I am dimly aware of a certain 'aroma' in the garage.... During the night a moment of insomnia leads me to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. I wander, half conscious, across the kitchen where the dogs sleep. All of a sudden I am in the middle of a rather soggy and unpleasant sensation. Yes, you've guessed it the peanut butter has come back to greet me, however it's now all over the kitchen floor in a rather less pleasant form and has now wedged itself between my toes. Yuck! I'm definitely awake now, thanks dogs. I'd rather not have to wash my feet and the kitchen floor at 3am... No idea which one of you is the culprit. However, really couldn't care now so check in the morning.
The next day it is clear that Sonny is the one with the problem and this tummy disturbance sees a reverting to his previously rather hyperactive and jumpy behaviour whenever we return from time out of the house. He goes through this display of leaping and cavorting as soon as he lays eyes on either one of us. It is so hard to tell if this is just acting up or if in his own way he is desperate to avoid another kitchen floor moment which he knows shouldn't really happen.
Another aspect has been that my partner and myself have both been working extremely hard and doing a lot of hours. We feel exhausted a lot of the time so we are finding the extra training involved really tough right now. Sonny seems less responsive, maybe the two things are linked?
I will let you know, memo to self, must check garage......
Friday 30 July 2010
Wednesday 21 July 2010
Multiple Muts
It's sometimes harder than others to focus Sonny. I am beginning to realise just how overactive his brain is (and that's on medication). Whilst I can sometimes get him to focus well on the training exercises, when he is outside in the big bad world it's a different story to the safety of our back garden.
In many ways keeping his interest is a bit like trying to manage a hyperactive child. He can maintain attention for a nano second, but then suddenly he returns to his 'tracking' behaviour on red alert for anything that might be coming in his vicinity.
This week has been no exception. I thought I was doing rather well yesterday as we passed a young staffy pup, a well known adversary. Fortunately the owner is extremely hot on keeping him under control, he is interested in Sonny and a bit overexcited but I doubt his intentions are honourable as Sonny as previously 'sworn' at him on a number of occasions. No doubt he would love to have a go but his sensible owner makes him sit. This is the testing time when I have to remember not to get anxious (but feeling very) and keep a 'relaxed lead'. I do so and distract myself with saying good morning and telling her we are on a training programme. I think this is to make myself feel better for having such an embarrassing dog! This works reasonably well and we pass without any of his normal display. Just a bit of heavy breathing and an anxious backward glance.
Flushed with success we move onto Colin the collie. He is alert and ready to pounce, unfortunately our sighting of him coincides with me having to stop to avoid a passing car. This is all too much for Sonny and Colin, they both have a good go at barking and growling and Colin's owner gives me the 'not you again' look which makes me feel so welcome in the locality. You can't blame the guy I bet he was having a nice peaceful life before we came along! Straight after that it is 2 eager jack russells, both clearly not a bit interested in their owner and giving Sonny full eye contact. Really, two dogs bearing down on the poor lad is too much him and a snarling heap soon emerges. One rather demoralised owner returning to home.
I am told the issue of meeting other dogs is a biggy and will be a whole chapter of work on its own. We are to practice with our other dog Holly learning to pass eachother and say hello. Then getting the dogs to sit opposite eachother at either end. Sonny is so good and willing to look at me, if I could get this sort of reaction when we meet a stranger dog we would be really getting somewhere.
Keep you posted
In many ways keeping his interest is a bit like trying to manage a hyperactive child. He can maintain attention for a nano second, but then suddenly he returns to his 'tracking' behaviour on red alert for anything that might be coming in his vicinity.
This week has been no exception. I thought I was doing rather well yesterday as we passed a young staffy pup, a well known adversary. Fortunately the owner is extremely hot on keeping him under control, he is interested in Sonny and a bit overexcited but I doubt his intentions are honourable as Sonny as previously 'sworn' at him on a number of occasions. No doubt he would love to have a go but his sensible owner makes him sit. This is the testing time when I have to remember not to get anxious (but feeling very) and keep a 'relaxed lead'. I do so and distract myself with saying good morning and telling her we are on a training programme. I think this is to make myself feel better for having such an embarrassing dog! This works reasonably well and we pass without any of his normal display. Just a bit of heavy breathing and an anxious backward glance.
Flushed with success we move onto Colin the collie. He is alert and ready to pounce, unfortunately our sighting of him coincides with me having to stop to avoid a passing car. This is all too much for Sonny and Colin, they both have a good go at barking and growling and Colin's owner gives me the 'not you again' look which makes me feel so welcome in the locality. You can't blame the guy I bet he was having a nice peaceful life before we came along! Straight after that it is 2 eager jack russells, both clearly not a bit interested in their owner and giving Sonny full eye contact. Really, two dogs bearing down on the poor lad is too much him and a snarling heap soon emerges. One rather demoralised owner returning to home.
I am told the issue of meeting other dogs is a biggy and will be a whole chapter of work on its own. We are to practice with our other dog Holly learning to pass eachother and say hello. Then getting the dogs to sit opposite eachother at either end. Sonny is so good and willing to look at me, if I could get this sort of reaction when we meet a stranger dog we would be really getting somewhere.
Keep you posted
Thursday 15 July 2010
Phil the pheasant returns
Still smarting from my earlier 'pheasant' incident. I am throwing a ball for Sonny in the garden, I am puzzled when rather than chase said ball, there is a lot of rushing about, followed by the rise of a large male pheasant from behind the garden table. I don't know who is more surprised, Sonny or me. Oh God, I think, this pheasant is toast! But no, the boy surprises me again and despite having always given the impression he was ready with a 'death roll' for any unfortunate bird that crossed his path, he seems excited but not aggressive and the pheasant lives to die another day!
The obedience part of our programme seems to be going well. The trainer suggests that whilst on walks we use psychological exercises such as sit, stay, wait etc. The aim is to make Sonny realise he has to look to us for direction. In the past we have used these exercises to try and calm him down, but we have never seen any effect. Today he is definitely less agitated and seems calmer after the exercises. The difference of him walking by your side when he is calm and when agitated is palpable. Usually he is urging to go ahead, although never actually pulling, this becomes wearing after a while. This is a real difference to training we have used in the past. Maybe it's the combination of medication, behaviour and myself learning to detach and be more aloof from my beloved boy that is making a difference. we will wait and see.
The obedience part of our programme seems to be going well. The trainer suggests that whilst on walks we use psychological exercises such as sit, stay, wait etc. The aim is to make Sonny realise he has to look to us for direction. In the past we have used these exercises to try and calm him down, but we have never seen any effect. Today he is definitely less agitated and seems calmer after the exercises. The difference of him walking by your side when he is calm and when agitated is palpable. Usually he is urging to go ahead, although never actually pulling, this becomes wearing after a while. This is a real difference to training we have used in the past. Maybe it's the combination of medication, behaviour and myself learning to detach and be more aloof from my beloved boy that is making a difference. we will wait and see.
Sunday 11 July 2010
A few moments of a relaxed boy
The last post would not allow me to put on extra pics so am adding them now. It is great to see your anxious dog lying out and this is what we saw when our visitor was here. Believe me, this is a first!
Why are pheasants so stupid?
I'm on my first walk with Sonny on uncharted territory. Apparently it's good to take him out where he doesn't know as it means he may look to me more for direction. He's already 'up there' because, unusually, he's out with me alone and his favourite pal Holly has not come along. Something is not right. But we persevere and I do the stop, start and change direction. We do 'quick, quick' and 'slow', which he seems to have learnt very quickly and teaches him to change pace on command.
I am under strict instructions not to react to other dogs in any way, because otherwise Sonny will think it's a problem, this is going to be a challenge because it's so ingrained, in me that is.
All is well, its a busyish country road but we are managing it. I decided to avoid the footpath as 2 jack russells have gone up there and I don't want to invite trouble. I'm not feeling that brave yet. We start to run along, he is enjoying himself and looking more relaxed. Then the pheasant appears.
What is it with pheasants? I had never really encountered many before I arrived in the country but, I now realise, they really are the most stupid birds. They wait until they are within inches of your front bumper before making a mad dash across the road in front of you. If not they pretend to jump out in front of you only to decide otherwise and go back in the hedge, either way it's too late and you've already swerved, trying to avoid a bloodbath and probably a cracked windscreen.
Sonny is an ordinary boy, see a pheasant, it's prey, you chase it. Unfortunately at the point he decides this we are in full flow and I am pulled over onto the tarmac with a smack! Various grazed knees and ripped jeans later my pack leader status again rather shakey, we go home.
Better news however when stepson's girlfriend visits at the weekend. I am thrown off balance. We haven't practised the visitor ritual yet and I am on high alert, I hate it when he intimidates people, even with a muzzle on.
However, we follow the routine, the visitor arrives and they take him round the block for a walk. Then everyone comes back in together. Amazingly he lies down on his side, I resolutely don't touch him as I have been apt to do in the past. I praise him 'good boy lie down', a slight tail wag. Wow, Sonny is lying down relaxed with a visitor in the room, it is possible then!
Along came Sally
That's when we met Sally, Sally talked to us at length about Sonny's behaviour and saw him in action. I have to say that woman has nerves of steel, Sonny did his usual sniffing at her (with muzzle) and then she looks at him (something he can't bear apparently), he jumps and barks loudly at her.
We discover other things, part of his behaviour is guarding me. Obvious you might think. But it was so subtle and the fact that he kept on brushing past me whilst she was there was apparently his way of checking me out. I knew the minute he was going to test her. ' You are so tuned into him, this is something we have to do something about'. He can smell my fear and so is more likely to react. I knew this, but it's so hard to stop it. Maybe it's me that needs the Valium! He lies down in the doorway and she tells me he's let me in but he's letting me know he's not going to let me out. Again, something I had not previously noticed.
There is medication and a DAP collar we can try whilst we are giving him a comprehensive programme of de-sentisation and more training. He is a highly intelligent dog, as is Holly, he needs lots of psychological work because the collie in him is never exhausted so needs to 'think' in order to get tired. Gradually, over the 3 hours, he calms down, a bit. He accepts treats and training from her. Maybe this visitor is not all bad then...
At the end of the visit I don't know who is more exhausted Sonny or me. The next day we walk past a variety of dogs and he doesn't react, we are both gobsmacked. Maybe there is hope.
And that's where we are and why I decided to write this blog. Sally has given us a comprehensive programme to follow and I'm going to document how we get on. It will help motivate me to keep this going because I realise that I haven't been consistent in the past, partly because I haven't wanted to keep bothering the trainers. I have to get over that this time. Also Sally has offered to bring in a stooge visitor if needed and also to take me out to show me what to do with other dogs. She really is our last hope and this time we don't want to let Sonny down after all he deserves a good life and SO DO WE!!!
We discover other things, part of his behaviour is guarding me. Obvious you might think. But it was so subtle and the fact that he kept on brushing past me whilst she was there was apparently his way of checking me out. I knew the minute he was going to test her. ' You are so tuned into him, this is something we have to do something about'. He can smell my fear and so is more likely to react. I knew this, but it's so hard to stop it. Maybe it's me that needs the Valium! He lies down in the doorway and she tells me he's let me in but he's letting me know he's not going to let me out. Again, something I had not previously noticed.
There is medication and a DAP collar we can try whilst we are giving him a comprehensive programme of de-sentisation and more training. He is a highly intelligent dog, as is Holly, he needs lots of psychological work because the collie in him is never exhausted so needs to 'think' in order to get tired. Gradually, over the 3 hours, he calms down, a bit. He accepts treats and training from her. Maybe this visitor is not all bad then...
At the end of the visit I don't know who is more exhausted Sonny or me. The next day we walk past a variety of dogs and he doesn't react, we are both gobsmacked. Maybe there is hope.
And that's where we are and why I decided to write this blog. Sally has given us a comprehensive programme to follow and I'm going to document how we get on. It will help motivate me to keep this going because I realise that I haven't been consistent in the past, partly because I haven't wanted to keep bothering the trainers. I have to get over that this time. Also Sally has offered to bring in a stooge visitor if needed and also to take me out to show me what to do with other dogs. She really is our last hope and this time we don't want to let Sonny down after all he deserves a good life and SO DO WE!!!
We've moved
We moved to the country. Oh joy, finally I can live somewhere that Sonny will be safe, it's a relatively unpopulated area, vast fields of green, finally he can have some quality of life and space and along with him, we can too.
But prior to the move the worst has happened, Sonny has finally bitten someone. It happened at home, my much loved cousin, over from the USA had been in the house a couple of hours, we'd had dinner. He had even stroked the dog, he's used to them as he keeps dogs himself.
I'm sitting in the lounge with Sonny at my feet. Am I touching him or not, I don't know. My partner and my cousin enter the room. In a second he's up (having been lying on his side) and has launched himself across the room, grazing my cousin's arm. Fortunately he is OK, just surprised. I am devastated, after 8 years the thing I've most been dreading, ever since this problem started, has finally happened and the worst of it is, I didn't see it coming.
To be honest I think the fact that Sonny had never bitten before was a matter of pure luck. It was simply that we as his owners had protected him from the worst excesses of his behaviour. I saw myself as his guardian angel. He was a problem dog in an unpredictable world, who had an antisocial personality, the only thing I could do was to make sure he didn't do anything terrible. Otherwise it would be police on my doorstep and having to have him put down which would be devastating.
So anyway I digress. We've moved to the country. We dream of long country walks and Sonny begins to get on with a family dog and we risk letting him off lead in remote places. He absolutely loves it and dashes about like a mad thing, jumping in all the ditches and hedgerows.
We have a few hiccups, the people across the way have an old dog who is very sober, but always off lead. Sonny is having none of it and within a few days of our arrival, everyone nearby is aware that our dog is not the friendliest. Fantastic, we think. This is going to enhance our liklihood of making new friends all the more difficult.
Then there is the time that my elderly aunt was left with Sonny and Holly for a few short minutes whilst my partner took bottles to the bottle bank. She doesn't feel scared because she doesn't really know what Sonny can be like, so this time we can't say that it's our nerves that creates what happens next. If only that young lad had not chosen that moment to run by. The family return with solemn faces and I am told that Sonny has again launched himself at this boy and bitten him through his pocket. The boy is shaken but not badly hurt, the mother is very angry (understandably) and remonstrates with my partner, fortunately the police are not mentioned.
In the brave new world of village life, we are now faced with one prospect only - he's got to be muzzled.....
So where are we now, we've moved to the country with lots of open space, doggy heaven! We have a dog that we can't a) trust with people or, b)trust with other dogs and who, in order to keep controlled, has to be on lead and muzzled at all times. Is this really fair to our poor dog, should we be thinking about the ultimate solution, have we both just right now, as much as we adore him, had enough of what has effectively become a life sentence which none of us are enjoying. After all he is 10 years old.....
We talk about it, I cry, I imagine life without Sonny. I am just so attached to that dog, life would just not be the same. How would it be for Holly, she might pine. We are at work all day so it wouldn't be fair to get another dog yet anyway....
It's no good, I can't face it. We've got to keep going, he's part of our family.
And then there's the day we went to the seaside, a moment of distraction in a public place, he's muzzled and on lead but lunges at a child who is innocently walking in his direction. My partner's attention momentarily distracted by a conversation with family. The child cries, the parent angry but not fortunately litigious, our family embarrassed and shocked.
Once again I am devastated, more so because I work with kids who sometimes have phobias and I don't want to be responsible for a child developing a dog phobia because of my dog. Something has to be done about this dog!!!
We discuss euthanasia again, again I am devastated at the prospect but we agree to contact the local vet to get her views. Maybe there is medication we can try, we haven't done that yet. A child in the waiting room with special needs is curious about Sonny and walks towards him in the waiting room. I warn him not to come closer, he doesn't like children. The boy doesn't seem to take in what I say and continues to approach, his father stops him. Children are so unpredictable even with care an accident can so easily happen. Fortunately in this case the situation is contained.
I cry in the vets as I talk about the incident with the child, I am in fear that she will say he has to be put down and that we will go home without him. My partner is more optimistic. The vet is honest, behaviour is not really her thing, but there is someone who the practice works with, suggests we give her a call. Yet another trainer, have I really got the energy to do this, haven't I given all that I have for this dog already to no avail....
But prior to the move the worst has happened, Sonny has finally bitten someone. It happened at home, my much loved cousin, over from the USA had been in the house a couple of hours, we'd had dinner. He had even stroked the dog, he's used to them as he keeps dogs himself.
I'm sitting in the lounge with Sonny at my feet. Am I touching him or not, I don't know. My partner and my cousin enter the room. In a second he's up (having been lying on his side) and has launched himself across the room, grazing my cousin's arm. Fortunately he is OK, just surprised. I am devastated, after 8 years the thing I've most been dreading, ever since this problem started, has finally happened and the worst of it is, I didn't see it coming.
To be honest I think the fact that Sonny had never bitten before was a matter of pure luck. It was simply that we as his owners had protected him from the worst excesses of his behaviour. I saw myself as his guardian angel. He was a problem dog in an unpredictable world, who had an antisocial personality, the only thing I could do was to make sure he didn't do anything terrible. Otherwise it would be police on my doorstep and having to have him put down which would be devastating.
So anyway I digress. We've moved to the country. We dream of long country walks and Sonny begins to get on with a family dog and we risk letting him off lead in remote places. He absolutely loves it and dashes about like a mad thing, jumping in all the ditches and hedgerows.
We have a few hiccups, the people across the way have an old dog who is very sober, but always off lead. Sonny is having none of it and within a few days of our arrival, everyone nearby is aware that our dog is not the friendliest. Fantastic, we think. This is going to enhance our liklihood of making new friends all the more difficult.
Then there is the time that my elderly aunt was left with Sonny and Holly for a few short minutes whilst my partner took bottles to the bottle bank. She doesn't feel scared because she doesn't really know what Sonny can be like, so this time we can't say that it's our nerves that creates what happens next. If only that young lad had not chosen that moment to run by. The family return with solemn faces and I am told that Sonny has again launched himself at this boy and bitten him through his pocket. The boy is shaken but not badly hurt, the mother is very angry (understandably) and remonstrates with my partner, fortunately the police are not mentioned.
In the brave new world of village life, we are now faced with one prospect only - he's got to be muzzled.....
So where are we now, we've moved to the country with lots of open space, doggy heaven! We have a dog that we can't a) trust with people or, b)trust with other dogs and who, in order to keep controlled, has to be on lead and muzzled at all times. Is this really fair to our poor dog, should we be thinking about the ultimate solution, have we both just right now, as much as we adore him, had enough of what has effectively become a life sentence which none of us are enjoying. After all he is 10 years old.....
We talk about it, I cry, I imagine life without Sonny. I am just so attached to that dog, life would just not be the same. How would it be for Holly, she might pine. We are at work all day so it wouldn't be fair to get another dog yet anyway....
It's no good, I can't face it. We've got to keep going, he's part of our family.
And then there's the day we went to the seaside, a moment of distraction in a public place, he's muzzled and on lead but lunges at a child who is innocently walking in his direction. My partner's attention momentarily distracted by a conversation with family. The child cries, the parent angry but not fortunately litigious, our family embarrassed and shocked.
Once again I am devastated, more so because I work with kids who sometimes have phobias and I don't want to be responsible for a child developing a dog phobia because of my dog. Something has to be done about this dog!!!
We discuss euthanasia again, again I am devastated at the prospect but we agree to contact the local vet to get her views. Maybe there is medication we can try, we haven't done that yet. A child in the waiting room with special needs is curious about Sonny and walks towards him in the waiting room. I warn him not to come closer, he doesn't like children. The boy doesn't seem to take in what I say and continues to approach, his father stops him. Children are so unpredictable even with care an accident can so easily happen. Fortunately in this case the situation is contained.
I cry in the vets as I talk about the incident with the child, I am in fear that she will say he has to be put down and that we will go home without him. My partner is more optimistic. The vet is honest, behaviour is not really her thing, but there is someone who the practice works with, suggests we give her a call. Yet another trainer, have I really got the energy to do this, haven't I given all that I have for this dog already to no avail....
The thing about dog trainers....
At this point we have discovered The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan, and I have watched all the programmes on Sky 3 at least 2 or 3 times. I still to this day believe in what he does, though I know a lot of people don't like his methods. I can report however that the 'Chusht' noise is highly effective with our dogs, although the possibility of jolting Sonny out of his behaviour with any of his suggested little 'nudges' whilst on a walk meet with total failure. My fantasy is that a large brick could fall on Sonny when he is agitated and he simply would not notice it.
What now?,
I discover a note at the vets about a socialisation group that deals with dogs with aggression problems. It's a drive away but again by now we're really desperate and feeling our lives are being severely curtailed by our much loved, but impossible pet.
We are allocated two trainers to help us, we are told to walk him up and down. Finally he is amongst other dogs having to 'sit', 'stay' and 'lie down'. This is unheard of and as we attend over the next few weeks our confidence as owners definitely begins to improve, but not unfortunately his behaviour!
I find out that the group are training people in their methods and if I would like to pay a reasonable sum and do some written work, I can join too. My view by now is that I have done so much reading and research and spent so much money that I might as well become a dog trainer myself right? Even if I can't help my own dog yet, maybe I can help other people's?
Now, my idea of a training course is that you all get together in a classroom situation and are given some of the basics before being let loose on a load of problem dogs, right? WRONG again. Apparently this course is from the 'throw them in the deep end' school of teaching.
The first week I shadow one of the other trainers who sounds like she knows what she is talking about. She appears to be very good at reading dog body language and I soon begin to feel deskilled as I realise that there is much more to this than we trainees are apparently being 'taught'.
The thing about the dog trainers, was that they weren't that good with people. They were a rather aloof bunch and I began to notice a sort of 'uniform' appearing of polo shirts and hats. These trainers also brought their own dogs to group, sometimes to be used in the exercises as' stooge dog's. Worryingly, these people did not always seem to be able to keep their own dogs under control eg dogs were walking in front of them (a big no, no). One was completely hyperactive and I began to wonder about the issue of 'practising what you preach'. And these people are supposed to be teaching me? Mmmmm....
The methods included shouting a command at strange dogs that had come in my direction to 'send them away', the thought of bellowing at someone else's dog when out on a walk did not seem destined to endear us to our fellow dog walkers, nor, designed to make Sonny any doggy friends. I also realised a perhaps curious fact that in the world of these dog trainers I was simply too small chested to have any credibility with the general public!!!
Now it's my turn to be sent off to 'help' the paying punters. OK, they've paid good money to be helped with their problem dogs and they get me....does this seem right? I'm nervous. My dog is on the other side of the field with my partner, busy marching up and down (and looking very worried that he's lost his mistress). 'Hallo, yes I'm here to help you, yes of course we can sort this problem out, I can get your dog to listen to me (yeah right!)'. Confidence as a trainee trainer not high then? Success with stranger dogs therefore not fantastic and the already fragile confidence of Sonny's owner ie me the 'would be pack leader' diminishing by the day....
I try to talk to the course organisers about this, suggesting things that might help...they don't really seem to listen as nothing much changes and I find other trainees are quietly sharing my confusion about a lot of things...and then the leaders tell me that they 'really don't think that Sonny will ever get any better.' So it's decision time, do I get breast implants, don a swanky hat, adopt a masculine tone like Margaret Thatcher and get real comfortable with shouting at other people's dogs?????
I think it's time to leave.....
What now?,
I discover a note at the vets about a socialisation group that deals with dogs with aggression problems. It's a drive away but again by now we're really desperate and feeling our lives are being severely curtailed by our much loved, but impossible pet.
The group meets in a field and we are invited for an assessment to check what needs to be done. The assessment is watched by other people; trainers and punters, as Sonny is let off lead in an enclosed area where they let in. Yes! Joy of joys his favourite thing folks, 3 german shepherds all off lead. Already I am shaking (partly due to the audience) but mostly because this is the situation I have avoided for so long. Sonny does his thing, albeit on a long lead, the strongest male GSD apparently fights back but... doesn't dominate him. The trainer says that ,if she had longer she'd get him to submit, (excuse me, but haven't I paid £60 for this?). Anyway glossing over this minor detail, the good news is that we are told that the group can help Sonny and he is free to join.
We are allocated two trainers to help us, we are told to walk him up and down. Finally he is amongst other dogs having to 'sit', 'stay' and 'lie down'. This is unheard of and as we attend over the next few weeks our confidence as owners definitely begins to improve, but not unfortunately his behaviour!
I find out that the group are training people in their methods and if I would like to pay a reasonable sum and do some written work, I can join too. My view by now is that I have done so much reading and research and spent so much money that I might as well become a dog trainer myself right? Even if I can't help my own dog yet, maybe I can help other people's?
Now, my idea of a training course is that you all get together in a classroom situation and are given some of the basics before being let loose on a load of problem dogs, right? WRONG again. Apparently this course is from the 'throw them in the deep end' school of teaching.
The first week I shadow one of the other trainers who sounds like she knows what she is talking about. She appears to be very good at reading dog body language and I soon begin to feel deskilled as I realise that there is much more to this than we trainees are apparently being 'taught'.
The thing about the dog trainers, was that they weren't that good with people. They were a rather aloof bunch and I began to notice a sort of 'uniform' appearing of polo shirts and hats. These trainers also brought their own dogs to group, sometimes to be used in the exercises as' stooge dog's. Worryingly, these people did not always seem to be able to keep their own dogs under control eg dogs were walking in front of them (a big no, no). One was completely hyperactive and I began to wonder about the issue of 'practising what you preach'. And these people are supposed to be teaching me? Mmmmm....
The methods included shouting a command at strange dogs that had come in my direction to 'send them away', the thought of bellowing at someone else's dog when out on a walk did not seem destined to endear us to our fellow dog walkers, nor, designed to make Sonny any doggy friends. I also realised a perhaps curious fact that in the world of these dog trainers I was simply too small chested to have any credibility with the general public!!!
Now it's my turn to be sent off to 'help' the paying punters. OK, they've paid good money to be helped with their problem dogs and they get me....does this seem right? I'm nervous. My dog is on the other side of the field with my partner, busy marching up and down (and looking very worried that he's lost his mistress). 'Hallo, yes I'm here to help you, yes of course we can sort this problem out, I can get your dog to listen to me (yeah right!)'. Confidence as a trainee trainer not high then? Success with stranger dogs therefore not fantastic and the already fragile confidence of Sonny's owner ie me the 'would be pack leader' diminishing by the day....
I try to talk to the course organisers about this, suggesting things that might help...they don't really seem to listen as nothing much changes and I find other trainees are quietly sharing my confusion about a lot of things...and then the leaders tell me that they 'really don't think that Sonny will ever get any better.' So it's decision time, do I get breast implants, don a swanky hat, adopt a masculine tone like Margaret Thatcher and get real comfortable with shouting at other people's dogs?????
I think it's time to leave.....
The third trainer, the fourth trainer...........
After the German Shepherd incident, we sought the help of yet another trainer.
Oh, did I not mention that by now we have developed another (but actually it was always there) and it appears, escalating problem of letting people into the house. If you recall, we already have a dog who gets separation anxiety and chews up stuff, doesn't like other dogs and who has recently and with no provocation that I could see, other than being canine, gone for a very nice German Shepherd, leaving me very frightened of taking him out.
Now we are not the most social of people, but, I can tell you that the sight of Sonny launching himself at the living room glass door, barking and growling, anytime one of the boys brought their friends over, was not designed to encourage a warm and nurturing home environment. However, in a funny sort of way, whilst I was worried by this behaviour, I was not entirely unhappy about it? Why? Because when I heard friends talk about their terrible experiences of teenage drinks parties, with kids throwing up in the pot plants and trashing the lounge, I knew there was no way it was ever going to happen in our house! The simple act of needing a drink from the kitchen for a visitor was an operation that required extreme military precision. Like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, they tentatively crept downstairs, eyes scanning in all directions for any sign of the Devil Hound! Often it would be a matter of the visitor calling down and us rushing to put the dog somewhere out of sight for them to take that vital step to the kitchen, knowing they were in no danger of being traumatised!
Fortunately not all people were a problem for Sonny. He seemed to be OK if the visitor was very regular and not fearful of him. He never seemed worried by anyone elderly (his previous owner was in her older years), but he definitely disliked young people and children and if any adults were scared of him, that definitely made him worse.
Can you imagine the scene, you invite someone round for a drink, 'Oh please don't worry about the dog, no it's really not a problem when he launches himself at you. You really musn't be afraid....' I can hear the sound of the No Win No Fee Lawyers rattling their sabres as we speak....So, no ones up for a barbecue then? What a shame....
And so we move on to the arrival of the third dog trainer. Again, she was very good and gave us what appeared to be very sensible and professional advice. Suggesting that visitors should sit at the moment sit at the table and throw him treats, so that we could create a positive association around people coming into the house. That when we took him out if we saw another dog we should change direction and then gradually work on finding a submissive female dog for him to walk with, so that we can practice socialising with other dogs. We got so far and then came unstuck.
Remember that by now I am so fearful of taking him out that I am finding it very difficult to stay calm when we see another dog approaching. He is confined to lead walking and the trainer advises to avoid any areas where we might meet a dog off lead. No more country walks as we live in a very highly populated area where all the local beauty spots are mobbed at weekends. So the boy and I become like guardsmen at Buck Palace, a 20 minute walk each end of the day up one straight road and down again. If we see another dog we cross over and if there is a handy bush nearby try to walk behind it, because if he is distracted or doesn't see the dog coming, he is less reactive. Does anyone make doggy blinkers?
As for the finding another dog to socialise with, well it's not that easy to make doggy friends when you can't talk to other people with dogs. So how are we going to meet this paragon of virtue who isn't averse to putting their beloved pet in a potentially scarey situation. Most people would not want their dog attacked, so how do we do this?
The answer is we don't. We continue with the going up the road and down the road, aggression with visitors is managed in that mostly I put the dog away so he is not learning. In other words I'm back in my old rut and yet again I don't want to bother the nice trainer lady with lots of unnecessary questions. Do you see a bit of a theme developing here? So who is more screwed up, me or the dog? They say dogs are like their owners don't they, nuff said....
I come across a website that tells me about Reiki healing for animals, this amazing method can so it says even be conducted over the telephone. Now this is not as daft as it sounds, because given that my confidence is at rock bottom, I'm ready to try anything. At this point if someone had told me that the only thing to cure Sonny was some rare plant found only in the amazon jungle, I would probably have jumped on a plane!
I book a slot with the person I shall refer to only as The Telephone Man, he was very lovely and caring, he had such a calm voice. Told me that Sonny was such a nice dog underneath and that he could not pick up that he had any underlying health problems which might be causing it. Whatever you might think about the methodology, I just sat and cried. I knew he was a nice dog, at least he was nice to his pack, just not to anyone in the outside world. Sonny of course was totally unphased by his mistress blubbing all over him, however with hindsight I suspect that is not something the pack leader is supposed to do, a sure sign of weakness, blubbing over your dog!! The Telephone Man Tells me to buy a loud whistle and if he shows aggression to use the whistle. This is apparently to distract him or snap him out of his aggressive display. Well, this is preferable to shouting at him or, I have to admit the odd slap when I felt I'd tried everything else. And no, the whistle is no more effective as nothing gets through to Sonny when he is in one of his moods, but probably still useful if you're lost on a mountain...
So, where are we, we've to date consulted 4 trainers with varying success and yes I admit mostly my fault for not persevering based on not wanting to bother people...
What now for Sonny?
Oh, did I not mention that by now we have developed another (but actually it was always there) and it appears, escalating problem of letting people into the house. If you recall, we already have a dog who gets separation anxiety and chews up stuff, doesn't like other dogs and who has recently and with no provocation that I could see, other than being canine, gone for a very nice German Shepherd, leaving me very frightened of taking him out.
Now we are not the most social of people, but, I can tell you that the sight of Sonny launching himself at the living room glass door, barking and growling, anytime one of the boys brought their friends over, was not designed to encourage a warm and nurturing home environment. However, in a funny sort of way, whilst I was worried by this behaviour, I was not entirely unhappy about it? Why? Because when I heard friends talk about their terrible experiences of teenage drinks parties, with kids throwing up in the pot plants and trashing the lounge, I knew there was no way it was ever going to happen in our house! The simple act of needing a drink from the kitchen for a visitor was an operation that required extreme military precision. Like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, they tentatively crept downstairs, eyes scanning in all directions for any sign of the Devil Hound! Often it would be a matter of the visitor calling down and us rushing to put the dog somewhere out of sight for them to take that vital step to the kitchen, knowing they were in no danger of being traumatised!
Fortunately not all people were a problem for Sonny. He seemed to be OK if the visitor was very regular and not fearful of him. He never seemed worried by anyone elderly (his previous owner was in her older years), but he definitely disliked young people and children and if any adults were scared of him, that definitely made him worse.
Can you imagine the scene, you invite someone round for a drink, 'Oh please don't worry about the dog, no it's really not a problem when he launches himself at you. You really musn't be afraid....' I can hear the sound of the No Win No Fee Lawyers rattling their sabres as we speak....So, no ones up for a barbecue then? What a shame....
And so we move on to the arrival of the third dog trainer. Again, she was very good and gave us what appeared to be very sensible and professional advice. Suggesting that visitors should sit at the moment sit at the table and throw him treats, so that we could create a positive association around people coming into the house. That when we took him out if we saw another dog we should change direction and then gradually work on finding a submissive female dog for him to walk with, so that we can practice socialising with other dogs. We got so far and then came unstuck.
Remember that by now I am so fearful of taking him out that I am finding it very difficult to stay calm when we see another dog approaching. He is confined to lead walking and the trainer advises to avoid any areas where we might meet a dog off lead. No more country walks as we live in a very highly populated area where all the local beauty spots are mobbed at weekends. So the boy and I become like guardsmen at Buck Palace, a 20 minute walk each end of the day up one straight road and down again. If we see another dog we cross over and if there is a handy bush nearby try to walk behind it, because if he is distracted or doesn't see the dog coming, he is less reactive. Does anyone make doggy blinkers?
As for the finding another dog to socialise with, well it's not that easy to make doggy friends when you can't talk to other people with dogs. So how are we going to meet this paragon of virtue who isn't averse to putting their beloved pet in a potentially scarey situation. Most people would not want their dog attacked, so how do we do this?
The answer is we don't. We continue with the going up the road and down the road, aggression with visitors is managed in that mostly I put the dog away so he is not learning. In other words I'm back in my old rut and yet again I don't want to bother the nice trainer lady with lots of unnecessary questions. Do you see a bit of a theme developing here? So who is more screwed up, me or the dog? They say dogs are like their owners don't they, nuff said....
I come across a website that tells me about Reiki healing for animals, this amazing method can so it says even be conducted over the telephone. Now this is not as daft as it sounds, because given that my confidence is at rock bottom, I'm ready to try anything. At this point if someone had told me that the only thing to cure Sonny was some rare plant found only in the amazon jungle, I would probably have jumped on a plane!
I book a slot with the person I shall refer to only as The Telephone Man, he was very lovely and caring, he had such a calm voice. Told me that Sonny was such a nice dog underneath and that he could not pick up that he had any underlying health problems which might be causing it. Whatever you might think about the methodology, I just sat and cried. I knew he was a nice dog, at least he was nice to his pack, just not to anyone in the outside world. Sonny of course was totally unphased by his mistress blubbing all over him, however with hindsight I suspect that is not something the pack leader is supposed to do, a sure sign of weakness, blubbing over your dog!! The Telephone Man Tells me to buy a loud whistle and if he shows aggression to use the whistle. This is apparently to distract him or snap him out of his aggressive display. Well, this is preferable to shouting at him or, I have to admit the odd slap when I felt I'd tried everything else. And no, the whistle is no more effective as nothing gets through to Sonny when he is in one of his moods, but probably still useful if you're lost on a mountain...
So, where are we, we've to date consulted 4 trainers with varying success and yes I admit mostly my fault for not persevering based on not wanting to bother people...
What now for Sonny?
Saturday 10 July 2010
More of the story
I was very relieved to get hold of Sonny because the way things were going I had a feeling he wouldn't have stayed alive for much longer if he had stayed with that owner.
The first few days of Sonny moving in with us were great. The kids were made up to have another dog in the house but we soon found out it was not going to be plain sailing. The first thing we had to cure was the howling at night, because lover boy had been so doted on he had been given pride of place on his owners bed.
Now I may be daft about dogs but the thought of dog breath in the morning was not attractive and so we soon let him know that we were not going to allow him the same privileges. After two nights, he stopped howling as he found he didn't particularly like it when I banged on the door when he did it. Aversion therapy seemed to work, I thought. However, that was a relatively simple problem to deal with compared to the next one to beset us.
Coming home from work one day we found the sofa cover ripped up the back. I was devastated. that was when I found my first dog trainer. A nice lady who talked to me about how to build his confidence. How he needed to have things that smelled of me and how that fact that he followed me everywhere (to which I thought 'AAAh bless him', was not a good thing. Unfortunately he was to chew many other things after that, the most inconvenient of which was my only pair of verifocals (£375 later thank you very much) which meant I had to go to an interview with a big crack in my glasses and also do an exam. Somehow I managed..... and even got the job!
The problems with aggression towards other dogs were getting worse. I became curious as to why he would sometimes dash across the park with great abandon, only to return (looking very pleased with himself) with a lot of long hair in his mouth. Later, I discovered he had begun to take exception to a very nice couple of bearded collies. Perhaps he just has an aversion to fluff I thought?
But when he growled at the sight of a mum walking her toddler, some way across the park, Iwas really worried. Perhaps it's time to get his bits done, I thought, after all, we don't want any unwanted puppies. It's my moral duty etc etc
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Guess what, after a swift recovery from his operation his dog aggression appeared to get worse. Oh dear, this was not supposed to happen. Nobody told me that a dog who lacks confidence probably needs that little bit of testosterone just to cope and that the last thing you should do is to take it away from him. But because I didn't know this and because I had never owned a dog before (apart from Holly who was fine) how would I know? I really don't remember the vet evening talking the operation through, it was like booking a car in for an MOT.
So where are we now, Oh Yes. So far we've got separation anxiety (improving or managed) plus aggression with other dogs. We found that if we kept him distracted ie with a ball game, he would largely manage his bullish behaviour but not always. And, as you do, I started to get more nervous of taking him out. It didn't seem to matter how far away the other dog was, he would soon start to turn into a whirling dirvish and exhibit a high pitched whine which made him sound like I was stabbing him with a hot poker. Boy was this embarrassing! I began to emphasise with those mothers you see in the supermarket, the one everyone looks at whilst their child is kicking off. You feel people are saying to you 'haven't you trained your dog yet. That really is bad behaviour dear, don't you think you should take him to a socialisation class?' What socialisation class will take a dog that attacks other dogs... sorry, what was that?...Oh dear, deathly silence......
And then, halleluja I discovered Jan Fennell and her idea of a dog being like a wolf that needs to live in a pack. Now, this makes sense. I remember a fateful Easter bank holiday weekend when partner and I sat down with our book and tried to get the dogs to lie down and give a 'deep sigh'. I can't quite recall the number of hours we spent on this but I can tell you that every time we so much as flinched, both dogs would spring up like hot potatoes. It was very frustrating and by the end of the weekend we felt a real couple of failures. But, I went to a talk by Jan Fennell and she gave me her contact details. All is well folks, Tony Fennell is coming down to see us, Sonny you've met your match. Tony Fennell was lovely, but had travelled for hours through a traffic jam. It was a boiling hot day and he was very good at setting out what we had to do. But somehow it was very hard to be clear about what to do in every situation and I became very anxious about 'bothering ' the Fennells with, what I thought might be, too many phone calls. In the meantime Holly was busy letting us know that any if we had any ideas about taking over the pack she was having none of it. She began drinking profusely and weeing all over the kitchen floor on a regular basis (and yes this was definitely behavioural) a regular doggy sulk!
Then we move, it's even harder to walk him now, we are not near a park and if I can I try to avoid any dogs, I can't risk meeting one off the lead. The day comes when we unexpectedly meet a large (and fluffy) german shepherd dog, quite old, not bothering anyone and on a lead. Sonny the whirling dirvish is right on form, he's wearing a head collar now and writhes about at such a pitch that he manages to get out of it and attacks the other dog. I am mortified and have to ask the owner (who thank god is totally nonplussed) to kick him off. Sonny and I go home, I am shaking and now literally terrified to go anywhere with him. I don't take him out for 3 weeks and confine him to ball games in the garden whilst we try to decide what to do.... What is left, walking him at 2am??
The first few days of Sonny moving in with us were great. The kids were made up to have another dog in the house but we soon found out it was not going to be plain sailing. The first thing we had to cure was the howling at night, because lover boy had been so doted on he had been given pride of place on his owners bed.
Now I may be daft about dogs but the thought of dog breath in the morning was not attractive and so we soon let him know that we were not going to allow him the same privileges. After two nights, he stopped howling as he found he didn't particularly like it when I banged on the door when he did it. Aversion therapy seemed to work, I thought. However, that was a relatively simple problem to deal with compared to the next one to beset us.
Coming home from work one day we found the sofa cover ripped up the back. I was devastated. that was when I found my first dog trainer. A nice lady who talked to me about how to build his confidence. How he needed to have things that smelled of me and how that fact that he followed me everywhere (to which I thought 'AAAh bless him', was not a good thing. Unfortunately he was to chew many other things after that, the most inconvenient of which was my only pair of verifocals (£375 later thank you very much) which meant I had to go to an interview with a big crack in my glasses and also do an exam. Somehow I managed..... and even got the job!
The problems with aggression towards other dogs were getting worse. I became curious as to why he would sometimes dash across the park with great abandon, only to return (looking very pleased with himself) with a lot of long hair in his mouth. Later, I discovered he had begun to take exception to a very nice couple of bearded collies. Perhaps he just has an aversion to fluff I thought?
But when he growled at the sight of a mum walking her toddler, some way across the park, Iwas really worried. Perhaps it's time to get his bits done, I thought, after all, we don't want any unwanted puppies. It's my moral duty etc etc
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Guess what, after a swift recovery from his operation his dog aggression appeared to get worse. Oh dear, this was not supposed to happen. Nobody told me that a dog who lacks confidence probably needs that little bit of testosterone just to cope and that the last thing you should do is to take it away from him. But because I didn't know this and because I had never owned a dog before (apart from Holly who was fine) how would I know? I really don't remember the vet evening talking the operation through, it was like booking a car in for an MOT.
So where are we now, Oh Yes. So far we've got separation anxiety (improving or managed) plus aggression with other dogs. We found that if we kept him distracted ie with a ball game, he would largely manage his bullish behaviour but not always. And, as you do, I started to get more nervous of taking him out. It didn't seem to matter how far away the other dog was, he would soon start to turn into a whirling dirvish and exhibit a high pitched whine which made him sound like I was stabbing him with a hot poker. Boy was this embarrassing! I began to emphasise with those mothers you see in the supermarket, the one everyone looks at whilst their child is kicking off. You feel people are saying to you 'haven't you trained your dog yet. That really is bad behaviour dear, don't you think you should take him to a socialisation class?' What socialisation class will take a dog that attacks other dogs... sorry, what was that?...Oh dear, deathly silence......
And then, halleluja I discovered Jan Fennell and her idea of a dog being like a wolf that needs to live in a pack. Now, this makes sense. I remember a fateful Easter bank holiday weekend when partner and I sat down with our book and tried to get the dogs to lie down and give a 'deep sigh'. I can't quite recall the number of hours we spent on this but I can tell you that every time we so much as flinched, both dogs would spring up like hot potatoes. It was very frustrating and by the end of the weekend we felt a real couple of failures. But, I went to a talk by Jan Fennell and she gave me her contact details. All is well folks, Tony Fennell is coming down to see us, Sonny you've met your match. Tony Fennell was lovely, but had travelled for hours through a traffic jam. It was a boiling hot day and he was very good at setting out what we had to do. But somehow it was very hard to be clear about what to do in every situation and I became very anxious about 'bothering ' the Fennells with, what I thought might be, too many phone calls. In the meantime Holly was busy letting us know that any if we had any ideas about taking over the pack she was having none of it. She began drinking profusely and weeing all over the kitchen floor on a regular basis (and yes this was definitely behavioural) a regular doggy sulk!
Then we move, it's even harder to walk him now, we are not near a park and if I can I try to avoid any dogs, I can't risk meeting one off the lead. The day comes when we unexpectedly meet a large (and fluffy) german shepherd dog, quite old, not bothering anyone and on a lead. Sonny the whirling dirvish is right on form, he's wearing a head collar now and writhes about at such a pitch that he manages to get out of it and attacks the other dog. I am mortified and have to ask the owner (who thank god is totally nonplussed) to kick him off. Sonny and I go home, I am shaking and now literally terrified to go anywhere with him. I don't take him out for 3 weeks and confine him to ball games in the garden whilst we try to decide what to do.... What is left, walking him at 2am??
The first of many (hopefully...)
OK so this is the story of Sonny Dog
I was born on 4th June 2000. Unfortunately I did not have very good beginnings. My mum was old when she had me and according to sources had had a masectomy. I lived in a back yard, I had only one brother that I know of. Right from the start the world was a scareeee place. Everything was a problem and I soon learned that the best way to deal with anything new was to hide away. This I did on a frequent basis and once the lady who wanted me came to fetch me, I found the best place to be was behind the sofa or, better still hidden somewhere under her skirt!
Everything was great because I was small and cute. I got loads of fuss from the lady who owned me. She had lots of other animals too and I soon learned that I was her number one boy and when no one strange was there I would play around with lots of toys.
Then I got bigger and I started to get to know the lady next door who had a dog too. My owner was not very good at walking so I went out with the lady and her dog. I loved it and got much braver, I would rush around in the park and play with the ball. Holly and I became good doggy pals and I became pals with the lady who owned Holly too.
Time went on, and I got bigger. I started doing things that I shouldn't, like I would get really upset if my owner went out of the room and I didn't know where she was. Because I was scared I chew up things that smelled of her, like her favourite books. When my owner came back she used to bark really loudly at me and sometimes I got smacked which made me even more confused, because suddenly the person who looked after me was hurting me too, I didn't know what to do.
Sometimes when somebody came to the door I would bark loudly. My owner would tell me I was a good boy and this made me think that I needed to be the one to look after the house. So I couldn't understand it when she disappeared because the pack is supposed to stay together and I would spent ages looking for her and then chewing things up.
The situation was not going well....
By the time I was 8 months old I was chewing things up on a regular basis and the bad things still kept happening. I began to get scared of other stuff like loud noises and dogs in the park. Sometimes I chased them away when they came to sniff me, because after a few minutes I got scared that something BAD would happen. Holly and I were still great pals though.
One day, the lady who owned Holly came and got me and took me to her house and guess what.....I've been there ever since.........
Thanks Sonny, I'll take over from here (which by the way is what we should have done years ago) but have to date failed to manage.
As you have heard already, Sonny was a rescued dog. His first owner loved him but really couldn't cope with him and after a lot of heart searching she finally agreed to give him to me. And that was the start of it, my journey into the world of dog training and dog psychology. I owe a lot to Sonny who, despite being utterly impossible at times, has and still continues to teach me so much about myself and how to persist with what appear to be intractable problems, even when they last for years.
I hope this blog will help those of you out there who are also on the point of giving up on your dog to keep going and to believe that no matter how many trainers and behavioural approaches you try, there will one day be someone who CAN help you understand your dog and him you.
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