Latest update

It's Christmas Eve and dear Sonny went for his last hydrotherapy appointment on Saturday.  We didn't know it was to be his last but they soon noticed that he was no longer moving his back feet in the water.  With no ability to be 'hands on' with him in the water as well, there was no choice.  We could not go on and the session was cut short.  It was very emotional as I have gained so much support from the staff team who have monitored Sonny so closely over the last 6 months..  I had a big sob on the arm of the lady who runs it and Sonny for the first time gave her eye contact and accepted a treat from her.  It was like he was saying thank you for all you've done for me!

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We are left with anything that we can do externally now, that means considering the possibility of a cart which we may be able to get second hand to see if he will take to it.  We are upping his pain medication and anti-inflammatories.  The vet is convinced he is not in pain and that is a bonus.

Ironically we can still run with him in the field at times, he can't go on for long, but whilst in full flow he sometimes has a big smile on his face and that is all I need to know that it is OK to keep him going for a bit longer.

We are having all our family with us this year for Christmas, I suspect it may be his last.  Let's make it a good one for him. 

Winter cold

It's a difficult time at the moment with Sonny, over the last couple of weeks he has deteriorated and become more immobile.  He has also been shivering quite a lot which can be a sign of pain.  After seeking advice from the hydrotherapy centre I phoned the vet who agreed it was time to give him some additional pain relief, Tramadol. It has helped a bit but I notice him having spasms in his front paws when he lies down.   These fluctuations in his condition are a daily part of our lives now.

Yesterday at the hydroptherapy session they noticed him being less able to place his rear legs even in deeper water which is supposed to give him additional support.  She said it might soon be time for someone to get in with him to keep him stable or he won't be able to do it any more.  Would he cope with it?

Yesterday he allowed her to put her hand on his side for the first time and looked up at her.  This is the first time in 6 months he has allowed this and she was almost in tears.  He is so fearful and takes so long to trust, it was a big moment.  I wonder how much longer he can go on, even how much longer I can as it is all so emotionally draining watching your dog go downhill slowly and silently without any complaint, without so much as a whine.  He is a very stoic boy and I love him so much, it is almost unbearable but I know that I must stay strong for him.

Does a dog need a driving licence?

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Sonny's condition continues to make his mobility increasingly difficult.  He has been collapsing more in the house although strangely seems to cope much better outside in the field at a run where he has more stimulus and motivation.  I had a long talk with my friend at Meadow Farm last Saturday and she has made me aware of a company that make wheeled cards for dogs  Dog MobileThe apparatus would have to be made to measure but if successful, it could give Sonny a whole new lease of life.

My main concern is his temperament and whether he will take to it, however he has surpassed all my expectations thus far so no doubt he may do so again.  There is no doubt that psychologically he is just as bright as ever, loves to run and chase the ball.  It is just his body which is failing him and he cannot understand why.  The times when I have to pick up the hind limbs which have become tangled or where he has slid into a sit which he cannot get up from are increasing.  He will also have occasional moments of being very steady.  It's all very weird.  We reassess him every day and adjust his levels of activity according to his needs.

I sometimes feel more like a carer than a dog owner.  I miss our long walks in the countryside, a great leveller both before and after work.  Maybe if I go ahead and order this thing we can take to the countryside again, how great would that be?  If I get it we can drop his hydrotherapy sessions down to twice a month (which will help the bank balance) but not to get rid of them completely as he needs to keep the strength in his front legs going.  I'm a bit worried that I'll pay out all this money only to find that he won't use it, but if I don't we know what the next step will be.  I wish I could ask Sonny what he would like me to do, it's at times like this you really wish you could talk to your dog, I don't know the ' Doglish ' for wheelchair cart so I guess we'll have to take the practical route and wait and see what happens!

Hope eternal

The experience of having a dog with a debilitating condition is that you never know from one day to the next whether today will be a good or a bad day.  If it's a bad day you may see your pet as I do dragging himself around the floor, being unable to stand up after he's been sat down for a while.  It's at times like this that I think am I being cruel keeping him going, who am I doing all this rehab for really and will it be this weekend that I have to take that final journey to the vets with him.

However, this is where the wonderful staff at the hydrotherapy centre come in.  They are so good at assessing and monitoring him that they are able to explain what is happening and reassure me that all is well.  They advise me about how to utilise the anti-inflammatories to best effect which is something that vets do not provide as they see the animal less often.  They score how Sonny is doing and give an exercise plan according to need.  In short I arrive downhearted and hopeless and I leave altogether more reassured and optimistic.  Yes his condition is degenerative but, providing I keep up some of the recommended physio, plus the weekly hydrotherapy sessions, he should be OK for a while yet.  The stiffness and difficulty in walking (ataxia) being explained by the inflammation and discomfort which disables his ability to right himself when he is unsteady on his feet.  I count myself so lucky that I have found this place where they are so generous with all the care, advice and knowledge.  Sonny is having the best old age that he can in the circumstances and I am lucky that I can just about afford to do this for him.  With new and clear advice about how to move forward I wack up the medication back to a daily dose and he is much improved, today is a good day...

Hydrohappening!

Sonny has been having twice weekly session of hydrotherapy for the last 2 and a half months.  He is coping well, the whole experience of going in there challenging his nervous and distrustful nature on a number of different levels.  Firstly, get into the room and trust that the door can be shut and the strange person in the uniform is not going to hurt me.  Secondly, allow myself to be gently guided up the slope, then shut in a confined space with glass sides whilst my owner stands outside giving me soothing noises.  Thirdly, tolerate noise of water filling the container to the tops of my legs, treats here so it's OK.  The occasional suspicious look at the strange person in the green uniform just to make sure they aren't overstepping the mark with me, then I'm off.  The treadmill is going and my owner is there at the end encouraging me forward with a regular supply of yummy treats.  I can now tolerate a good half an hour of activity with occasional rest periods.  End of session followed by a nice warm shower then wrapped in a rather fetching dog towel for the journey home!

We have had the all clear to reduce the sessions down to 1 per week.  This will be a huge relief as the bank balance and time factor of trying to rush home from work in time for the session was taking its' toll on me.

He is less keen on the physio which I am supposed to do 3 times a day.  A couple of weeks ago I was doing the leg exercises and he looked at me and gave a low growl.  This was quite a shock as it was the first time in 12 years that he had done that.  I suddenly thought if these exercises are going to make him less trustful of me then I could risk losing the bond with my dog over trying to keep him going.  If there is a choice between treating him and losing the bond then I think the bond has to win.  After all this it would be terrible to lose that in his last few months or years.  The physio told me that because he has such behavioural problems, it puts me in a difficult position with him as I have to do everything as no one else can lay a hand on him unfortunately.

This weekend I had a pet photographer out to take some nice shots of him in the garden.  Again I was unsure how he would cope but with the aid of a large hedge and a very long lense, he coped admirably.  I am looking forward to getting a photo for the album that sums up the bond between us.  He is such a special dog and I want to have something to look back on when he is gone which reminds me of the time we had.

The Water Boy

Well we've been very busy recently.  We've moved house and now Sonny has a wonderful 2 acre field to run around all to himself.  It's completely dog proof which is a bonus and he's been busy checking out all the boundaries just to make sure no one got in last night when he was in bed.

We have started an intensive regime of physiotherapy, (exercises to maintain his muscle memory) 2 to 3 times a day, plus hydrotherapy twice a week.  We have also purchased him a pair of boots for his two back feet which due to his foot dragging have worn his poor claws down to the quick.  Despite being a dog who is deeply suspicious of all things new he seems to have taken to this onslaught of new additions to his life with remarkable vigour.  With the condition that he has got, which is degenerative, walking at speed seems to work better than slow and unsteady.  The most difficult part is the stopping to relieve himself when he can look as though he's almost going to topple over before he makes it and he's off at a trot again (after we've cleared up of course.)

In hydrotherapy he is transformed, none of the wobbliness is there as the water supports him and he can glide along and turn with the grace of a ballerina.  It is so wonderful to see him like that again and if it keeps his muscles strong so that he can go on for a bit longer that is all to the good.  Without insurance the cost of course is no small thing.  However the alternative is to do nothing and watch him deteriorate which I cannot bear to do. 

Moving on

Moving home can be a really stressful time for any pet.  Poor Sonny has had a lot to contend with over the last 2 or 3 weeks.  He has been surrounded by packing cases and new smells. His routine disrupted, nothing is where it should be.  Not surprisingly this impacted massively on his physical health.  In the few days after the move he was more unsteady and I noticed his two back feet had worn the claws down to the quick.  They were bleeding as clearly all the foot dragging has begun to take effect. If that wasn't enough he kept falling over and collapsing.  We were so concerned about him that we even wondered if his time had come and I spent a very emotional 24 hours thinking that I was going to have to  finally say goodbye to my old pal.  However, after a consultation with a new vet he has rallied and suddenly realised that there is a 2 acre field out the back of the house that is all his own!  The joy on his face as he gambles about like a puppy, without lead or muzzle, experiencing real freedom for the first time in many years is a brilliant boost for us to see.  He is even managing to run for the ball in a limited way which is good exercise for him.  I keep telling him he is such a lucky dog to have this as a retirement home!

Today I have taken him for his first physio appointment and it was hard going trying to overcome his natural aversion to strange people, nice as the physio was.  However, she was very patient with him and suggested we give him a 'wrap'.  This is a technique used in Tellington Touch which simulates swaddling and is designed to increase feelings of safety and security.  This was a new one on me as to my knowledge dogs do not swaddle their pups, however it really made a difference and although he was still wanting to keep as far away as possible from her, he was panting less and prepared to lie down and be stroked.  He even took a treat at the end from her which is a big thing for him to do. In the end I did most of the assessment exercises with him as he was not keen on her touching him but we are going back again next week so he may get used to it.  After that we are going to try water treadmill to see if we can build up the muscles in his poor old legs so that his muscular strength helps to compensate for the nerve dysfunction. 

Even if he only lasts for a few more weeks or months I am so thrilled to be able to do this for him.  Watching my boy go for the ball is really my idea of heaven right now.

Vet news

The vet appointment was brilliant.  She was based in a hydrotherapy centre and has recommended Physio and hydrotherapy exercise for Sonny Dog.  Sadly she has confirmed my worst fears that whatever is affecting his back end is a problem of the nervous system and has affected not one but both of his hind legs.  His best prognosis is to use exercise to strengthen his muscles to he maintains strength in his legs for as long as possible.  Eventually he could become incontinent at which point euthanasia would be the best and fairest option for him.  How I sobbed when I got home from that appointment. I think I was hoping that the other vet might have got it wrong but you know your dog and deep down I probably knew that there was not going to be a miracle cure.  However, I have been given some exercises to do with him, practising going up and down off different levels ie pavements, using treats to go from 'sit' to 'stand' several times a day and massage sessions to stimulate blood flow in his hind limbs.  He's always loved a tummy rub so I don't think he will complain about this part of the regime at all.

Sonny is so happy in himself and at times he runs about the garden as though there is nothing wrong with him, at others he is a bit wobbly but other than that he is not in any pain, eats and goes for walks as normal for which I am truly grateful.

Keeping the old boy going

Just spoken to a lovely vet who I found online who is attached to a hydrotherapy centre, she also does acupuncture.  We had a long talk about Sonny and his problem leg.  We concluded that there is no point in looking at expensive referrals to neurologists as I would not consider putting him through an operation at his age and stage. One of the things which works against him is his temperament, so nervous in any kind of clinic situation.  However, I am trying to do the best I can for him so I can be sure that I have thought about all the possibilities so I can live with myself if the worst has to happen.

Today he is so pleased to see me and thinks he's a puppy again bounding around the garden, the leg problem not so much in evidence.  Perhaps he just needs to go everywhere at speed in his golden years.

 The idea of speeding up rather than slowing down into old age quite appeals to me.  Pack everything in, do what you want to do and don't procrastinate, we don't know how long we've got.  Yet another brilliant lesson from my dog xx

Wolves and things

Just returned from  a phenomenal week in Combe Martin where I was learning about dog behaviour from Shaun Ellis, otherwise know as The Wolf Man.  This course teaches about wolf psychology and pack behaviour and applies this to the domestic dog.

After all the years of different trainers and training methods this course is the one to watch, it was like a light being shone onto all the unanswered questions that I had about Sonny and why he did what he did.  Although I am gaining this knowledge very late in the day, I am hopeful that I will be able to help him and make his last months or years easier and that he will be a happier and more relaxed boy as a result.

The back leg is worsening so I am now investigating the possibility of alternative therapies to help him with the process.

Talk soon.

Autumn thoughts

This might seem a strange title when we are right on the path to the summertime but the news is that old age is creeping up fast on SonnyDog.  He is 12 years old and definitely showing signs of age.  Over the past few months he has shown an increased weakness in his left hind leg which occasionally gives way when he is conducting an awkward manoeuvre.  We talked to the vet about it and her view was that this was just something that older dogs develop and that apart from trying a few medications, there was little that we could do about it.

Research on the internet has come up with the title of Degenerative Myelopathy the symptoms are a growing weakness in one or both of the back limbs, eventually leading to paralysis.  The inevitable consequence will be eventual euthanasia.

As you can imagine the prospect of losing my boy is terrible to contemplate.  A few weeks back I felt desperately sad every time I saw him falter and the contemplation of the terrible sense of loss that I will face when he is gone surrounds me.  I have never felt as close to an animal as I have to this dog.  We have been through so much together and he has taught me everything I have learnt about the special language of dogs and strengthened a new resolve in me to help future dogs with similar problems.  However, slowly I am beginning to come to terms with it, whether the process is quick or slow, I am grateful for every day I have left with him and relish the walks we can still enjoy together.  The greatest thing is that dogs always live in the moment, so despite an occasional look of puzzlement on his face when his back end fails to behave as he expects it to, he eats and sleeps normally, is not in any obvious pain and still runs round the garden like an absolute mad thing whenever a ball comes into view.  In short he doesn't know he's old and he's living for the moment.  We could learn a lot from him, couldn't we.

The Hunt

Today is the first day since my operation that I have ventured out with the dogs on my own, up to now I have been worried about Sonny pulling me if he sees another dog and feels threatened or, that my doing brief checks of the sliplead up or sideways would not do my stitches any good.

Anyway today we set out.  I decided to focus on helping Sonny to realise that he has to focus on me and be relaxed in order for anything to happen.  So, we started with the going out of the door ritual as previously described.  He manages this beautifully and we head for the next door from the back garden to the outside world.  I notice he tries to push past me when I open the gate so, I stand in front of him and get him to back up a bit.  We try again, I do it again, in the end 3 repetitions before we are able to go out of the door successfully.

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As we are going along I notice that his ears are alert and his body posture is slightly stiff, he gazing around scouting for danger.  This is not good as it is not his job to do this, so I stop again and WAIT.  It is very noticeable how much longer it takes to achieve a more relaxed state outside.  Much easier in the house when there are fewer distractions and very clear how unsafe this dog feels in the outside world when every sound has to be checked out.  He needs to get the message that nothing will happen until he relaxes but as yet he does not know what I want from him, he is just doing what he usually does.  So I make him wait and wait and wait and eventually he looks at me with kind soft eyes.  That's it, in that fraction of a second I let him know that is what I want and we move forward again.  This really brings home how much TIME you need to get through to an anxious dog and, had I not had these few weeks off on sick leave, I would not have been able to achieve this as the early morning walk was usually a fairly time pressured affair as we had to get to work.

Later on we see a squirrel, immediately Sonny shows the rigid body the alert ears.  Even when I put him in a sit his paw is slightly raised.  This dog is ready to go, we have seen PREY!  But, he has to learn that this is not what I want from him as this behaviour can be replicated with other dogs cats or, almost anything and can lead to an aggressive display.  So, we stop and WAIT and WAIT and WAIT and W  A  I  T........It takes him what seems like ages to eventually be able to let go of this state of mind.  There are so many distractions in the outside world and his mind is very clearly focussed on anything except me, this is where patience (not my middle name) is so important.  As I am waiting I am aware of how much his anxiety can transfer to me.  At one point I kept hearing odd noises coming from a nearby hedge which were catching his attention.  Suddenly a pheasant flew up into the field, I almost jumped out of my skin.  I had to really make sure I practised deep breathing, counted slowly in my mind and thinking up mantras for myself like
C A L M, this dog has to learn that nothing bad will happen if he gives me his trust and I have to learn to be the leader he needs me to be.  Finally I get more of a calm submissive body posture and expression so we can move on.  As we go back on the road, I notice that he is walking much better at my side, not urging forward which can sometimes happen, although he doesn't pull.  I remember what Cesar says about how when you are out on the walk you should not be focussing on your dog but on almost anything else so that you share relaxation not tension with your pack.  That walking a dog on a lead should feel like 'walking air'.  If you can feel anything else, eg pulling in front or to the side this means the dog is not in a' follower' state.

Today has been a good day...

Living with wolves

 Yesterday I discovered the most inspirational set of videos about a couple who studied and lived alongside a wolfpack for several years.  I recommend anyone to take the time to watch this film, it reminds us of the profoundness of the moment when an animal gives

it's trust to a human, the complexity of pack dynamics and the incredible beauty of the wolf in it's natural environment.  Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qEwoCu9aMc





I am now looking into the possibility of getting further training as a dog whisperer/psychologist.  In the UK it's incredibly hard to find anyone who actually teaches  Cesar's methods, much of it strays into traditional behaviour training which I don't really want to do.


My dream is to have my own dog training facility where people can come and receive the support and help to deal with the problems that stress them out with their dog and maybe to work with rescues and foster and rehabilitate dogs myself in some small way.

This is the start of a new journey.  I am doing lots of research on the internet at the moment and I will let you know how it goes....