The issue of exposing Sonny to further doggy/people/general life experiences continue. After our initial visit to a local beauty spot, the lesson continued the following week. This time I the nervous one was in the driving seat. This is major, I am tending to avoid taking the boy out at present because I am not confident about handling his dog to dog (or anything he doesn't like) aggression on my own. It is difficult to say what exactly I am so scared of, OK he has got out of his lead in the past but a new lead and collar have been bought and neither looks likely to fail at a critical moment. I used to be scared of dogs when I was young, am I scared of dogs myself and so have transferred this to Sonny? Am I just worried about Sonny upsetting and scaring other people, particularly children? Definitely and do I fear that, despite him being muzzled and on a lead I may get prosecuted for having a dangerous dog, possibly. Sally reassures me that whilst I am working with her, there is nothing to fear. She is used to speaking to third parties who feel concerned about a dog's behaviour that she is working with. Also, she tells me, the police have better things to do than to respond to concerns about a dog unless they are clearly out of control and the owner is not dealing with it. There is no doubt that we are doing our absolute best to deal with it, but somehow in the heat of the moment when he is kicking off, it doesn't feel like enough. Sonny, as I am learning, is as closely attuned to me as if he were part of me, he knows how I smell when I am scared and acts to protect me by seeing off the adversary. If I am comfortable, relaxed and talking, not focussed on what he is doing, he is happy, tail waggy and more if not totally relaxed, he may look interested in something or, someone but will not react.
Lesson 2, involved passing a whole gaggle of geese. This would intimidate some people but as I am deep in conversation with the trainer I am less concerned than I might otherwise be. He reacts brilliantly apart from right at the end when a goose comes that bit too close and he takes a dive at it. This, says Sally is not a bad thing, after all she can't imagine that many dogs would be able to ignore that one. Later we move off to a town setting and a take a walk, almost immediately we come across a crowd of young people. Immediately I am telling them to move aside so that they walk on my side and not with the dog. Sally tells me she would not have done this as it is likely to raise his anxiety and I sounded anxious when I was speaking to them. This is just SO HARD when your brain is hardwired to protect your animal for various indiscretions you are all the time looking for hazards and trying to pre-empt them. Now I am learning that to do that in fact sets him up to react, rather than stops him from doing it. A classic reinforcement of a vicious circle. Where did it all go wrong? Sally tells me that a lot of his experiences have come from his time with his previous owner, she despite wanting to do the best for him, inadvertently reinforced all his anxiety and lack of confidence. Secondly, when he first started to show anxiety around other dogs I had him castrated, she would have advised me to hold back as the testosterone would have given him that last little bit of confidence which unfortunately the act of castration took away. I have to admit to be anxious anyway at times, but prior to having Sonny we had another dog who was fine and socialised well, so maybe I shouldn't blame myself. But it's hard not to...
We sit on a bench and continue to chat. Passing us are a variety of walkers all arriving or going home. One particular commuter walks that bit too close. In my mind I see Sonny lunging at this person and scaring them, I can feel my anxiety going up. I try desperately to think of anything, count backwards, whatever it takes to refocus myself on positive thoughts. I even tried imagining other dogs as something benign like a mushroom, mmmm, not sure how successful that was. Other suggestions are having your Ipod playing something your brain has to work on like learning a language, however only in one ear so that you can still be aware of what is going on around you and so I guess I can still talk to the dog, only to withdraw this 'prize' if he reacts badly. Today Sonny is much better with the trainer and beginning to look to Sally for direction in situations, yep he knows I'm not up to the job of leading him yet, but I'm working on it Sonny, I'm really working on it....
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