Sonnydogblog is no longer posting due to the sad passing of this special boy in May 2013. His legacy is to help other dogs and more to the point their confused owners! Follow his new blog on http://sonnydogblogrescue.blogspot.co.uk/
Monday 7 October 2013
Sunday 1 September 2013
Doggy Musings
It is several months since I posted and every day I think of Sonny. I think this is the first time I have properly grieved for an animal that I had such a close relationship with. I still look for a Sonny lookalike pooch every time I see any labrador type dogs in my vicinity. I endlessly trawl animal rescue sites looking for that special face that will say 'pick me'. However, I know the dangers of trying to replace a dog which you never can so must give myself enough time to be able to love another dog for himself rather for the one that I am missing.
My chief concern is going to be arrangements for looking after when I have to work as many hours as I do. I keep trying to think up schemes where I am able to work from home and earn the same amount as I do now. So far I am not confident that I will be able to do so, so this line of thinking does not go very far. Employing a dog walker could cost as much as £200 a month, but rationally there has to be a way to do it as most of us have to work at least some of the time these days and so many dogs need homes.
As I write I notice most rescues are looking for owners who do not work or who only work a few hours. These seems to leave dog ownership in the hands of the very few, the rich and those who can survive on one salary. That sounds like a huge pile of euthanised dogs to me so we have to find another way.
If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.
My chief concern is going to be arrangements for looking after when I have to work as many hours as I do. I keep trying to think up schemes where I am able to work from home and earn the same amount as I do now. So far I am not confident that I will be able to do so, so this line of thinking does not go very far. Employing a dog walker could cost as much as £200 a month, but rationally there has to be a way to do it as most of us have to work at least some of the time these days and so many dogs need homes.
As I write I notice most rescues are looking for owners who do not work or who only work a few hours. These seems to leave dog ownership in the hands of the very few, the rich and those who can survive on one salary. That sounds like a huge pile of euthanised dogs to me so we have to find another way.
If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.
Sunday 2 June 2013
Setting him free
Today dawned bright with barely a cloud in the sky and so I thought this is the day I had been waiting for to set my boy free.
We walked into our field and I scattered his ashes across the green, the wind took him, which seemed fitting. He could be free at last to go wherever he will with no restrictions.
The last couple of weeks have been really hard. Losing my beloved dog has coincided with having to reapply for my job at work due to a restructure so everything is hitting me at once.
Like any grief losing a pet takes you in different ways. Initially I was crippled up by the pain of loss and literally did not know what to do with myself. Now it comes over me in waves, at times I am OK and then when someone is nice to me I'll crumple.
The memories I have of him and his little ways, the way he used to follow me everywhere and how he would sometimes put his head on my lap and just wag and wag his tail (usually when he wanted something), make me smile and comfort me also.
Holly who is our other dog has taken his loss with complete stoicism, actually I'm not sure if it is stoicism or relief that she has got her life back. She has the bed completely to herself so lies out in luxury, she has returned to proper dog walks across the fields with lots of smells and freedom to roam and whenever we go out she can come along because she is just the opposite to Sonny and no problem with people or other dogs!
I am already thinking about having another dog but need to give myself time. It would be wrong to rush into something because right now I want a dog that looks like Sonny so that I feel that I have him back, which is impossible. I also think I need to recondition myself to dog on dog encounters as it is so long since I have been able to look on this as an OK thing to do.
I hope to keep this blog up with new rescues and experiences of learning, so stay with me for more of our adventures....
We walked into our field and I scattered his ashes across the green, the wind took him, which seemed fitting. He could be free at last to go wherever he will with no restrictions.
The last couple of weeks have been really hard. Losing my beloved dog has coincided with having to reapply for my job at work due to a restructure so everything is hitting me at once.
Like any grief losing a pet takes you in different ways. Initially I was crippled up by the pain of loss and literally did not know what to do with myself. Now it comes over me in waves, at times I am OK and then when someone is nice to me I'll crumple.
The memories I have of him and his little ways, the way he used to follow me everywhere and how he would sometimes put his head on my lap and just wag and wag his tail (usually when he wanted something), make me smile and comfort me also.
Holly who is our other dog has taken his loss with complete stoicism, actually I'm not sure if it is stoicism or relief that she has got her life back. She has the bed completely to herself so lies out in luxury, she has returned to proper dog walks across the fields with lots of smells and freedom to roam and whenever we go out she can come along because she is just the opposite to Sonny and no problem with people or other dogs!
I am already thinking about having another dog but need to give myself time. It would be wrong to rush into something because right now I want a dog that looks like Sonny so that I feel that I have him back, which is impossible. I also think I need to recondition myself to dog on dog encounters as it is so long since I have been able to look on this as an OK thing to do.
I hope to keep this blog up with new rescues and experiences of learning, so stay with me for more of our adventures....
Saturday 18 May 2013
Life Lesson
I am the patience that you never
thought you had
I am the fear that you felt would drive
you mad
I am the ocean that you never thought
you'd swim
I am the light that you never let grow
dim
I am the tide that you never thought
you'd turn
I am the lesson that you never thought
you'd learn
I am the love that will never ever
leave
I am the wisdom that says 'carry on,
BELIEVE!'
I am the loyal, the defender and the
brave
I am the life that no one else would
save
I am the windy gust that whoops and
wails and calls
I am sunlight glinting on the
carpet in the hall
I am the heart that you can always call
for help
I am the hope for when they faulter and
they yelp
I am the velvet ears, the lick upon
your nose
I am the rascal who could steal that
food you chose
I am the gentle friend who's just gone
out of sight
Don't look for me but I am there, I'm
waiting,... it's alright
©RB
18/5/13
Finale
My dearest darling boy is gone. He was put to sleep at 10.30am this morning after a few wet beds over the last couple of days which coupled with already regular faecal incontinence came our mutual realisation that we could no longer let him go on like that and wanting to stop things before he suffered more.
He has been getting weaker and slower, he has been a bit off his food but willing to be fed by hand which was very endearing. Mentally he still seemed the same though, it is sometimes so cruel that the body gives out before the mind, you feel like you are playing God. I hope he doesn't feel that I have betrayed him, I want to think that I have set him free...
Yesterday I prepared a place for him in one of the barns. The previous owners had a whelping box because they used to breed dogs. I cleaned it out and rubbed lavender oil into the wood so it smelled beautiful, I found flowers and blossom from the garden to put on the bottom.
Today we gave him a sedative at 8am, but as usual he fought it. The vet was able to treat him in the back of the car, he took his last breath in my arms and I kissed him goodbye.
I laid him in the box with a candle and some red rose petals, I hugged him, for a long time. In the next few days the Pet Crematorium will let me know when I can collect his ashes and he will be scattered on our field, where he will be next to me every day.
I cannot describe the pain of missing him here, there is such an emptiness in the house. Holly took one look at him, sniffed and turned away. It will remain to be seen how she gets on over the next few weeks.
Darling Sonny, I love you so much and miss you baby....
He has been getting weaker and slower, he has been a bit off his food but willing to be fed by hand which was very endearing. Mentally he still seemed the same though, it is sometimes so cruel that the body gives out before the mind, you feel like you are playing God. I hope he doesn't feel that I have betrayed him, I want to think that I have set him free...
Yesterday I prepared a place for him in one of the barns. The previous owners had a whelping box because they used to breed dogs. I cleaned it out and rubbed lavender oil into the wood so it smelled beautiful, I found flowers and blossom from the garden to put on the bottom.
Today we gave him a sedative at 8am, but as usual he fought it. The vet was able to treat him in the back of the car, he took his last breath in my arms and I kissed him goodbye.
I laid him in the box with a candle and some red rose petals, I hugged him, for a long time. In the next few days the Pet Crematorium will let me know when I can collect his ashes and he will be scattered on our field, where he will be next to me every day.
I cannot describe the pain of missing him here, there is such an emptiness in the house. Holly took one look at him, sniffed and turned away. It will remain to be seen how she gets on over the next few weeks.
Darling Sonny, I love you so much and miss you baby....
Sunday 5 May 2013
It's Spring
Sonny is getting slower and finding walking even with his whizzy wheels more of an effort! Over the last few weeks he has managed the walk down the road OK but then found it quite hard going on the way back with the result that we have to pull him along.
Yesterday we had someone round so to kept him and so as not to stress him, we put him out of the way in his bed whilst we spent a long time talking with our visitor. I could hear him whining through the door and at the time just thought he was feeling left out. However, after the visitor had gone I found he had wet his bed. This was a blow and an immediate worry that he is now getting incontinent both ways. We already have problems with impromptu pooing. Last week I discussed it with the vet but he thinks because Sonny is still happy to greet us, eat etc that we are not hurting him by keeping him going for a bit longer, I was beginning to worry that I had let him go on longer than I should, so this was a relief!
Sonny is so stoic about all his problems. The really good thing is that he does not seem to know when he has had an accident, we think this is because the nerves in his back end no longer function, so he can't actually feel anything happening. In the end these incidents are more upsetting for us than for him which is a good thing.
It's a beautiful sunny day outside today and he is lying out on the lawn. Despite being a black dog he has always been a sun worshipper and loves to hog the heat which is completely mad of him.
The difficulties of having him now definitely outweigh the benefits and on some days I even look forward to the day when I won't have to do this any more and then I feel guilty, but in a way it's always been like this with having him.
There have been times when after yet another aggressive incident when we were out, we have felt we really couldn't cope with his behavioural issues any more. So his increasing infirmity is just another thing that he challenges us with, and I have to keep reminding myself that it is not his fault and he is entitled to as good a retirement home as I can give to our little old gentleman!
Yesterday we had someone round so to kept him and so as not to stress him, we put him out of the way in his bed whilst we spent a long time talking with our visitor. I could hear him whining through the door and at the time just thought he was feeling left out. However, after the visitor had gone I found he had wet his bed. This was a blow and an immediate worry that he is now getting incontinent both ways. We already have problems with impromptu pooing. Last week I discussed it with the vet but he thinks because Sonny is still happy to greet us, eat etc that we are not hurting him by keeping him going for a bit longer, I was beginning to worry that I had let him go on longer than I should, so this was a relief!
Sonny is so stoic about all his problems. The really good thing is that he does not seem to know when he has had an accident, we think this is because the nerves in his back end no longer function, so he can't actually feel anything happening. In the end these incidents are more upsetting for us than for him which is a good thing.
It's a beautiful sunny day outside today and he is lying out on the lawn. Despite being a black dog he has always been a sun worshipper and loves to hog the heat which is completely mad of him.
The difficulties of having him now definitely outweigh the benefits and on some days I even look forward to the day when I won't have to do this any more and then I feel guilty, but in a way it's always been like this with having him.
There have been times when after yet another aggressive incident when we were out, we have felt we really couldn't cope with his behavioural issues any more. So his increasing infirmity is just another thing that he challenges us with, and I have to keep reminding myself that it is not his fault and he is entitled to as good a retirement home as I can give to our little old gentleman!
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