Today dawned bright with barely a cloud in the sky and so I thought this is the day I had been waiting for to set my boy free.
We walked into our field and I scattered his ashes across the green, the wind took him, which seemed fitting. He could be free at last to go wherever he will with no restrictions.
The last couple of weeks have been really hard. Losing my beloved dog has coincided with having to reapply for my job at work due to a restructure so everything is hitting me at once.
Like any grief losing a pet takes you in different ways. Initially I was crippled up by the pain of loss and literally did not know what to do with myself. Now it comes over me in waves, at times I am OK and then when someone is nice to me I'll crumple.
The memories I have of him and his little ways, the way he used to follow me everywhere and how he would sometimes put his head on my lap and just wag and wag his tail (usually when he wanted something), make me smile and comfort me also.
Holly who is our other dog has taken his loss with complete stoicism, actually I'm not sure if it is stoicism or relief that she has got her life back. She has the bed completely to herself so lies out in luxury, she has returned to proper dog walks across the fields with lots of smells and freedom to roam and whenever we go out she can come along because she is just the opposite to Sonny and no problem with people or other dogs!
I am already thinking about having another dog but need to give myself time. It would be wrong to rush into something because right now I want a dog that looks like Sonny so that I feel that I have him back, which is impossible. I also think I need to recondition myself to dog on dog encounters as it is so long since I have been able to look on this as an OK thing to do.
I hope to keep this blog up with new rescues and experiences of learning, so stay with me for more of our adventures....
